the light fantastic

the nearest pseudo-urban area to our farm is a small hamlet optimistically named Mount Pleasant. driving through it today en route to the wide whirled i was moved to muse upon certain ironical things. we are blessed with two financial institutions. in recent years each one has been held up (ie robbed) by a person whose getaway was made with the help of a velocipede. which of course led to the appellation 'bicycle bandit'.
after the second (successful) robbery it was decreed that both banks would have security guards stationed outside. in the early days of their appointment they stood, alert at their posts, glaring at those who had the audacity to leave their sunglasses on whilst entering the counting house (presumably sunglasses are considered a potential disguise).
some months into their tenure they introduced little folding chairs, to save the strain on their legs. the introduction of seating arrangements naturally called for reading material, so it didn't take long for a book or two to sneak out of the back pocket. today i noted with some amusement that some of the personnel ostensibly on watch have now improved the quality of their open-air lives by plugging their ears into what i presume is a portable sound system.
should they combine these with the reading of a book whilst comfortably ensconced in their folding chairs i expect the only deterrent to the next robbery will be the potential for impeding the escape of said criminal by accidentally tripping them up. in which case the robber will probably sue the financial institution (or the security company) for damages.